|Iron Age Remains|
|Season 3, Episode 2|
|Air date||13 September 1992|
|Written by||Roy Clarke|
|Directed by||Harold Snoad|
Violet's Country Cottage
Hyacinth is expecting an invitation to the Royal Garden Party (based on Richard's lifetime devotion to the community). When she does not receive it in the mail, she phones the Lord Chamberlain's Office, seeking information. This however proves unsuccessful. Meanwhile, Rose yells at her boyfriend for going back to his wife instead of being with her.
Hyacinth decides she and Richard will enjoy searching for Iron Age remains; the pair head off into the country in exploration. They begin in a field. They make their way to a tree; Richard is sent up a tree as an effort to continue finding the Iron Age remains. Richard increasingly displays strange behavior, and this soon causes concern for Hyacinth. Upon arriving at home, she invites Elizabeth over for coffee in order to seek advice. An alarmed Hyacinth finds Richard and Emmett upside down against a wall with their feet in the air.
Daisy and Onslow show up at Hyacinth's house, informing her that Rose has locked herself in her room in a depressed state over her love life. Upon arriving to Daisy and Onslow's house, a few attempts to get Rose out of her bedroom prove unsuccessful until Richard finds himself on the top of a ladder outside Rose's window. This quickly turns disastrous when the dog frightens Hyacinth and knocks the ladder over, spilling Richard to the ground. Hyacinth discovers that Rose had called the Vicar and he was approaching the house. Hyacinth quickly tries to turn him away. Rose emerges from the house and chases after the Vicar. Richard comes close to inadvertently hitting vicar with his car until vicar dives into the bushes. Rose chases after him.
Rose: "I'm going back to being a virgin!"
Hyacinth (on the phone with the Lord Chamberlain's Office, finding that she cannot speak to the Lord Chamberlain himself): "Well, have you anyone else there who's important? Someone in authority? ... Please don't trouble Her Majesty, of course."
Rose (desperate about men): "I'm at a crossroads."
Onslow (out of beer): "You wouldn't be passing an off-licence, would you?"
Rose: "I mean, the big crossroads. Do you continue with your life or do you just give in?"
Onslow: "Could you go to the off-licence first and then struggle with your life?"